If I were a month I would be:
October or November 

If I were a day of the week I would be:
 Thursday

If I were a time of day I would be:
 Twilight

If I were a planet I would be:
 Saturn... it has lots of pretty rings, and I like to feel... sparkly.

If I were a sea animal I would be:
 A killer whale (I'm small but I pack a punch... what??)

If I were a direction I would be:
 North

If I were a sin I would be:
 Irreverence

If I were a historical figure I would be:
 A middle-class teacher in England during the Industrial Revolution

If I were a liquid I would be:
 Juice. Kiwi juice I think.

If I were a stone, I would be:
 An opal (I definitely want an opal instead of a diamond on my engagement ring, because they're more colorful, they're cooler, and they're lots cheaper...)

If I were a tree, I would be:
 A very big oak to build a treehouse in

If I were a bird, I would be:
 A PENGUIN... or a nightingale

If I were a flower/plant, I would be:
 A little red tulip

If I were a kind of weather, I would be:
 A sixtyish, part-sunny-part-cloudy, dry autumn day

If I were a musical instrument, I would be:
A flute

If I were a color, I would be:
 Blue. Duh.

If I were a mythical creature, I would be:
 A MERMAID!

If I were an emotion, I would be:
 Joy

If I were an animal, I would be:
 A songbird. Or a horse. Or a bunny.

If I were a vegetable, I would be:
 A carrot. I love them.

If I were a sound, I would be:
 The sound crystal glasses make when you rub your finger on the lip

If I were an element, I would be:
 Water (every single damn quiz on Quizzila says so)

If I were a car, I would be:
 A yellow Volkswagon bug. They're little and bubbley.

If I were a song, I would be:
 I would not want to listen to, but be something classical, without words, so that every time someone listens to it they're allowed to think of new scenes. Rhapsody in Blue, maybe.

If I were a movie, I would be directed by:
 Alfonso Cuaron or Peter Jackson (Needing final, definite endings and LOTS of them... guilty!)

If I were a book, I would be written by:
 Donna Jo Napoli (She re-tells fairy tales... I love it.)

If I were a food, I would be:
 A virgin strawberry daiquiri

If I were a place, I would be:
 A clear lake, completely devoid of all bugs and disgusting crustaceanlike animals

If I were an object, I would be:
 A handwritten letter by the actual US Postal Service

If I were a taste, I would be:
 Sweet (Haha, surprised you, didn't I?)

If I were a religion, I would be:
 Nondenominational

If I were a word/s, I would be:
Wonder

If I were a body part I would be:
 Hands

If I were a facial expression I would be:
A silly smile (Or the photo-interrupting-maniac-face...) 

If I were a subject in school I would be:
 History. (Euro. There's so much to learn!)

If I were a cartoon character I would be:
 The heroine's spunky best-friend sidekick

If I were a shape I would be a/an:
 Square! (It's hip to be square...)

If I were a number I would be:
Eight (There are eight notes on the octave. Plus it rhymes with Kate!)